If you always asked… How we became Swingers

If you always asked… How we became Swingers

Let me first start off by describing my hot sexy wife for you.

She’s 38 years old with a 5’8″ curvy build (not fat just curvy). She has blonde hair but her natural color is brunette. She has big beautiful breasts, size 36 D, and they are implants but they feel and look like the real thing. She has beautiful brown eyes and a smile that’ll melt your heart, and she has just the right size ass, not too big and not too small. In her spare time she does pin-up modeling for a magazine called Delicious Dolls. She’s just beautiful, sexy and smart.

The total package.

It all started one even when we were having a Halloween party at the house. She was dressed like a sexy Olive Oyl and I was dressed as Popeye. She wore a skintight red sweater that showed off her curves and beautiful large breasts and a hiked up black skirt with sexy leggings and high heels.

We invited five couples to the party; some were her friends and some were mine. Now you have to know that we never discussed swapping, sharing or threesomes before so this night wasn’t planned for anything like that.

My wife was the perfect hostess, making sure everyone had food and liquor and chatting with the guests. She doesn’t usually drink very often but this night she was having fun and getting drunk. As the night wore on couples started saying their goodbyes and left. Only one other remained, they were her friends. She worked with the husband of this couple.

He was tall, young, well built and handsome. His wife didn’t hold a candle next to my wife. She was kind of homely looking or maybe it was because she was dressed as a nun. Either way I was attracted to her but I could tell my wife was attracted to him just by the way she was flirting with him.

We stayed up pretty late drinking, laughing, and talking. I ended up bringing some playing cards out and asked Bob if he played poker. He said yes but usually it’s for money and asked me what the stakes are. I told him no money just for fun and he replied that we should bet something. So I jokingly said let’s bet our wives clothing and he laughed and said “deal!”

The wives weren’t too happy about this and honestly neither was I. So we played a few hands and it got boring quickly, even the wives were getting bored. So Bob mentioned the only way to get this party going was to bet clothing, everyone’s clothes this time not just the girls. The wives got together and said they’ll do it but only down to their underwear. I agreed with the girls. So we started playing all four of us.

A few hands into the game Bob’s wife was down to her bra and long skirt, and my wife had her shirt on but her skirt was off so were her high heels and leggings. So pretty much, my wife was sitting there in her panties. I told her if she loses one more hand the game is over because she’ll be in her underwear then. She replied she’s in it to win it and she won’t stop with the bra and panties. Bob’s face lit up and he said that a girl have fun. Bob’s wife was getting tired and losing interest.

She eventually quit the game and sat on the couch and watched tv until she feel asleep. But before she did that we played a couple more hands and Bob lost both hands so he took off his shoes and shirt. He was pretty muscular and tan and my wife noticed that. After that is when Bob’s wife went to watch TV.

The very next hand my wife lost so off came the shirt, exposing her tits in her bra. So you gotta imagine my wife being a model, you know she’s not wearing no Wal-mart boring bra. She’s wearing a nice sexy one that you can just make out the nipples thru it. I looked at Bob and he was just staring at her tits and said “wow I always wonder what they looked like under your work shirt.” She laughed and said “if I lose another hand you’ll get to see them without the bra on!” because her panties would be the last to go.

A few more hands went by, and by this time Bob’s wife is sawing logs on the couch. I’m sitting there in my pants and no shoes or shirt. Bob is sitting there with just his underwear on by now. The very next hand Bob lost again and stood up pulled down his underwear and exposed a large thick dick. I looked at my wife and she was shy to look at first but once she did, she couldn’t take her eyes off of it. He sat back down and said game is over, he lost, he’s naked.

My wife told him to deal again and she’ll figure out what he can bet now that he’s naked. So Bob dealt the cards, my wife made a comment that she always wondered what he was packing under his work pants. He laughed and said “well now you know”.

The next hand my wife lost and off came her bra. She looked at Bob and said “are you ready for this” and took it off exposing her ample breasts. She grabbed them and squeezed them and then she said “deal the cards” so he dealt again. By this time I’m feeling like a third wheel because they just keep talking to each other. I lose the next hand so I end up in my boxers and my wife tells me I’m going to get your dick out too. I laughed and said “we will see”.

Next hand my wife lost, she stood up and did a sexy dance while taking off her panties exposing her shaved pussy. Bob was just smiling and shaking his head in disbelief that he finally gets to see my wife naked. The next hand I lost so I end up naked. So now we’re all naked and I mentioned what do we do now? My wife said there is still more to bet. I said like what? She said you’ll see and told Bob to deal.

That hand my wife lost and I won and Bob had the next best hand so my wife told me since I won I get to make up a bet for her. I told her ok let me think. I didn’t want to be too vulgar so I told her that she has to make her tits bounce. She did it and said that was too easy and that we need to be more creative. We agreed to that and Bob dealt the cards.

My wife won that one and I lost. She told me to suck on one of her nipples. She stood up and almost fell over because she was so drunk by this point. I stood up and started sucking on her nipple. She reached down and started stroking my dick. I got embarrassed so I backed off. I didn’t want to get hard in front of another man.

By the time we sat back down Bob had the cards dealt already and that hand I lost again and the wife was the winner again. She said “since basically both guys lost I get to make a bet with both of you”. She told us we both have to suck on her tits now. She stood up again and Bob jumped up and started sucking on one, but I was kind of hesitant not knowing what to think about this. She reached down and started stroking his big dick as he kept sucking on her tit. I was starting to get aroused with what I was seeing.

It surprised me because I thought I would be mad if I ever saw my wife do something like that. So I stood up and started kissing her other breast and she started to jerk me off too. We did this for only a couple minutes and then my wife said let’s play because she had a better idea for the next bet.

So we played and Bob won this time I lost. So we were kind of stuck because there ain’t no way I’m touching his dick or anything like that. So Bob made a bet that I tell my wife to finger herself for one minute. So I told her “you heard the man, do it.” She said she liked where this was going and leaned back and started playing with herself. She was staring at Bob the whole time she did it.

Bob said ok times up and my wife gathered herself back up and was ready to play again. She mentioned she was so wet right now and she wants to do that again.

Next hand Bob won again and my wife lost this time. So Bob told her to play with herself for five minutes this time. So she happily obliged and started fingering herself again. Five minutes went by and time was up once again. By this time I could tell my wife was pretty horny and all worked up. She won the next hand and Bob lost. She told Bob to come sit by her so he did. She started jerking him off and she told him to finger her. As I’m sitting there watching them, I’m getting the biggest and hardest erection ever.

Watching his fingers slide in and out if my wife’s pussy and playing with the clit also. She’s moaning, he’s moaning, and they are staring into each others eyes. She started to stand up and told Bob there’s a second part to the bet and for him to follow her and that I can come too.

So we followed her into the other living room and she told me to sit down and watch and that I can’t join in because I wasn’t the loser. She dropped to her knees and started to suck his huge duck. I started playing with myself at this point watching her go to town on his dick. She was playing with his balls and everything. She looked at me and said I’m going to fuck him and I can stay if I want or leave, the choice was mine.

So I stayed.

She made him sit on the couch and she climbed on top and started riding his dick. At first penetration my wife moaned loud because of his huge dick. Started riding it slow at first and then faster and faster. They both came at the same time loudly too. I thought Bob’s wife was going to wake up with how loud they were. He came inside her because she told him to and then collapsed on top of him.

The next day the wife told me she was sorry that happened, she was drunk and got horny. I told her it was ok and that I hope it happens again. She was surprised by my reaction and said “really?” I told her hell yeah I can’t wait and that was the beginning of our swinger lifestyle.

Becoming a swinger: one swinger’s story

Becoming a swinger: one swinger’s story

My husband and I used to play a game of naming movie stars we would like to sleep with. Eventually, that game transformed to discussing people we know who we’d like to sleep with. Although we didn’t start giving each other permission to actually have sex with these people, the idea was planted.

I didn’t start my marriage as a swinger. I was married for more than a decade before we first couple swapped.

The next couple of years were spent with things I’d call testers. At parties we played the game, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” From there we started experiencing sex with someone watching. All these things may seem tame to most, but to us it was the beginning of a lifestyle we didn’t know we wanted.

We became members of a webcam site called anywebcam. The site allowed us to be voyeurs, which in turn led to us having sex on the webcam. We spent time chatting with other couples and eventually decided to meet a group of people from the website. We took a trip to Tennessee to attend a party with this group, who were friends that regularly got together and played.

For this group, playtime consisted of girl-on-girl while the men watched. One couple secretly told us they were a full swap couple, but that type of play didn’t normally occur with this group.

Enter Soccer Mom; blonde, skinny, and tan; arriving with no preconceived notions. I seemed to transform the group, at least for one evening.

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The parties theme was toga. So while my husband was off with a few of the boys buying more alcohol, I was standing in a thong having people dress me in a toga. This was the beginning of loosening up the rules for everyone. The evening moved along with some kissing and a little touching. Before I knew it I was getting quite a bit of attention. Picture this: me on the couch with a man kissing my lips, kissing each of my breasts, and a female between my legs. Each would alternate positions. The guys and girls would gesture for an ok from my husband before they joined the fun. A female saw that my husband was standing alone so she offered to take care of him.

Later that night we experienced our first swap with another couple. We went back to our hotel room with the other couple. Each of us started having sex with our own spouses. Not long after the guys looked at each other for a permissive nod, then we traded. This was a thrilling experience for both of us. From that night on we knew this was something we wanted to experience again and again.

Interview with a Woman Who Recently Discovered She Loves Group Sex

Interview with a Woman Who Recently Discovered She Loves Group Sex

Fiona is a woman in her late twenties who lives on the East Coast with her husband Eric and their three-year-old.

So, we’re talking because you recently had a new experience.

My husband and I went to a swingers club for the first time!

Everything starts with a simple approach…

How long had you guys been throwing around the idea?

A couple months — we talked about it a lot, but stopped short of making it an actual possibility. Then very recently my husband was just like, “Let’s just do it, we keep talking about it, I found this place in Atlantic City.” And we decided to go for it, and we went on Friday, and it was awesome.

And you’d never done anything like this before.

Not at all. I had experiences of being drunk and sort of fooling around with a friend and a boyfriend, but I’d never had sex with more than one person at a time, never really had sex with strangers. I only had one one-night stand ever and it was awful. So the idea had crossed my mind in fantasy, but not as something I actually wanted to do.

How long have you and your husband been together?

Married for almost four years and together for just about five.

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So what was that transition moment like, from fantasy to all of a sudden you’re staring at each other like, “Okay yeah we’re gonna do this.”

Well, I should say here that my husband and I both have pretty serious trust issues, which is a big reason why this seemed like a potentially bad move. We’ve both had issues with being cheated on, and that stuff sticks to you forever. And he’s quite a bit older than me and has a lot of experience that I never had, and for a long time I was pretty protective of my fantasies: even if I expressed them in the moment and it was hot, afterwards he’d feel weird about it, so I kind of shut stuff off.

So oddly this wasn’t even on the table as a fantasy until I embarked on a bit of an emotional affair with an ex of mine. Afterwards we were working through it and trying to be really honest with each other about sex, and it opened up a new door in terms of what we were willing to talk to each other about.

Like what?

Like me saying, “I actually might be attracted to women.” Aside from making out with friends I hadn’t had any experience with that, so the realization came slowly. And I told my husband and the next day he called me at work and was like, “I want you to know that, if this is something you want to explore, you should be able to do that.”

My first thought was, Oh, that’s cool, and my second was like, Very sweet of you but that’s insane that you think a woman being bisexual is this very specific, like…

Yep. Never met a guy who wasn’t like, “Sure, bang your friend, that sounds great.”

Like, you’re not asking me to explore all the men I haven’t fucked. I don’t think they realize there could be an actual emotional threat.

So he says this to you and where did your mind go?

Well, I shut it down. I didn’t want to go outside my relationship, but my husband wasn’t really getting that picture — in accepting these things he was learning about me, he had a hard time understanding that he was included. But my whole fantasy life includes him. Or at least, once I opened up to him, it made it much easier for him to be part of every narrative. Some of the more self-destructive things embodied in certain fantasies changed once I told him.

Anyway, I’m in therapy, and we’ve gone to couples counseling, and eventually he did understand that he was part of this. We were able to be on the same page, and articulate sexual fantasies that surrounded each other.

For you, how much does wanting to have sex with other people have to do with wanting emotional things from other people?

I don’t see my sexual desires as in any way separate to my emotional desires. I also feel like I have sex and self-destruction pretty well tied together — my sexual history is typically complicated, full of wrong people and wrong reasons, and I’ve got this desire that my husband doesn’t have at all, to keep tabs on people, to know that I’ve had some impact on their life. Which is messed up.

And totally natural. So you guys get on the same page, and?

We talked about swingers clubs, but we thought it’d be too much too soon. Our sex life was getting incredible anyway — we were going to a lot of sex stores, trying new things. But then after awhile my husband was staying stuck on the swingers club as definitely something he wanted to try, and after awhile it had just come up so much that we needed to try it.

And it was obviously not like we had to go all in. There was so much talk about open communication and saying what we’re okay with and we’re not. Either of us could stop it and leave any time. We talked about ground rules — no getting anyone’s phone number, no doing anything without asking the other person. We both had the idea that maybe this would not really go far, and either way we’d end up sleeping with each other at the end of the night, and that’s what mattered.

All right, so night of. What happened? What’d you wear?

We have a three-year-old; she was already set up to sleep at my friend’s house for the night — my friend takes her once a month, which is the best thing ever for a friend to do — and the anticipation was great. We went to this thrift store that doesn’t have a dressing room, and I found three little black dresses, and my husband picked the one he liked the most, a little tank dress that flares out at the waist like a ballerina dress or something, way shorter than anything I’d wear in real life, with a scoop back. Luckily it fit when I tried it on at home. Black heels and a chunky necklace and that was my deal. My husband wore, like, whatever. Jeans. They have it easy.

But also boring.

True. So the club opens at 10 — my husband wanted to go later, which is, you know, the normal thing; I was nervous and wanted to scope it out. So we went early. And the club is BYO, I think that’s sort of standard — and we waited till Atlantic City to go to a liquor store, and my husband doesn’t drink anyway, and by the time we got to a liquor store we could only get wine or beer, so I got some shitty-ass bottle of white something, so I was already like, “This is terrible,” and we pulled up and we see this couple outside in their fifties and the guy has a full-on ’70s mustache, and I was like, “Well, this is exactly what I imagined.”

You were already expecting you’d be on the younger end.

Yeah, I think the general age is usually thirties to forties.

Do you have like a mental cap of what age of dude you’d be comfortable having sex with?

Not at all, I didn’t think it would really get to that point. I figured maybe I would have sex with my husband in this weird public place and that would be hot and maybe there would be a lady and that would be great too.

Okay, so what was the club like?

We were immediately greeted by a receptionist, a much older woman who looked very much like she did not want to be there. You have to sign a release form, it costs like $75 for a couple.

What are the rules about that kind of thing?

Single women get in free, single men have to pay $100, and they only allow 10 single men on a Friday night. No single men on Saturdays.

Makes sense.

Yeah, they’re strict, everything is written out — at any point if someone says stop you really, really have to stop, and if you do anything untoward you’re getting banned. They are very aware of the potential problems. And there are essentially club bouncers walking around the whole night.

God, what a job that would be.

So we walk in, there’s a big TV behind the bar playing porn, a dance floor and a DJ who is only playing songs that are very literally about sex, just totally hammering it in.

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There were maybe two other couples when we walked in and I was trying really hard not to make eye contact, but then I felt guilty, because I was like, I should check people out — and then our bartenders (male, which I wasn’t expecting; I was expecting boobs) made me feel really comfortable. One of them showed us around all the rooms upstairs, all these rooms with beds and swings and stripper poles and those things you can bind people’s arms and legs to, and a locker room, and this room with a big bed and a contraption you can attach a dildo to, and this room with like bench observation seating, a room with a mirrored wall. In every room there’s a corner with a cart with towels and sheet sets and a bin to throw the used stuff in, and condoms.

So the idea is you meet someone at the club and move upstairs.

Yeah, I think there’s no nudity on the first floor. It’s more like a regular club down there.

Did it feel like that?

Well, it was pretty empty when I showed up, and the porn and the bad DJ made it more sort of like a bad idea of a regular club. And as the couples started filing in, all the men looked either old and creepy or serious New Jersey meatheads, not my type: the women were much more diverse in their appearances but even then it took me a long time to see anyone that I was remotely interested in.

My husband, on the other hand, was totally into it as soon as the bartender showed us around.

So how’d you ease into things?

We sat on the side of the dance floor, I had a glass of wine, we hung out for awhile. A lot of people knew each other already, it seemed. I was pointedly not making eye contact with anyone, and then finally this one woman — the one I’d thought was most attractive — started dancing for her husband, and finally a Prince song came on, and she and I and this other women got up and danced like it was high school, and then more people came in, and my husband just suggested we go upstairs and fool around.

We scoped the scene out — you know, lots of people having sex, lots of people watching — and we started making out in one of the side rooms. Then my husband was like, “Let’s go out where the people are,” and we sat down in the main room and started fooling around and I started giving him head in front of a bunch of people, and then I got on top of him — I actually kept my clothes on then, and all night too — and anyway, this woman I’d danced with downstairs came in. She was really cute, this light-skinned African-American woman with a bit of an accent, and her husband was this giant black man, like a friendly bear of a human. They came in and she was like, “Would you like to suck my husband’s dick?”

I liked that she approached me, rather than her husband. And I looked at Eric and he was like, yeah, go for it, and she went and got him. And we just started doing things — I actually ended up going down on her, which was the first time that had ever happened for me. And then she asked if she could do stuff with my husband — I think they tried to have sex but he hadn’t used a condom in so long that he couldn’t make it happen. And then another guy came in — he was wearing a hat, which I did not appreciate — and asked if I would suck his dick, so I was going back and forth between these two guys for awhile.

I am loving this story. Very rapid acceleration just now.

In the moment it was just like, “I’m doing this with my husband,” and the ideas I’d had about which people I’d want to do things with sort of went out the window. All I cared about was how they approached me. So then we sort of finished, went downstairs, got another drink.

Did it feel as chill as it’s sounding?

Yeah, nothing felt weird about it. The ladies were joking around, every one was so positive, complimenting each other, you’re running into people in the bathroom.

True sex-positivity seems like the absolute only way for this to go.

Totally, but I have had really little actual experience with people who are like that. I grew up in a really Christian home, my husband grew up Catholic and with all the guilt in the world. I feel like I’m just now learning to talk to some of my friends about sex, even if I’m personally progressive.

Okay, so you go back downstairs, I imagine you’re just like on fire.

I was giddy. It was crazy. My husband went outside to smoke, and I talked to a few people, and then my husband and I went back upstairs and this is when it gets even crazier.


So we went into the weird torture room, and it was just the two of us and we started having sex in there. My husband was behind me and this guy showed up and stood in the doorway watching, and I didn’t want to look at him but my husband was into it, and then a couple more people started watching and we were like, “Okay, I guess we’re performing.”

Then my husband was like, “Does anyone want to get his dick sucked? Wanna do that, babe?” And so the random guy who had been in the doorway just whipped it out. He was actually really wonderful and very gentle and polite. And also he had a pretty big dick.

Excellent, good for him.

And then another guy came in, and so I was doing that too — and like, I think my husband finished, and asked one of them if he wanted to have sex with me from behind. So I think I wound up giving head to three guys, and two of them had sex with me for like a minute each. Finally I was like, “I’ve been giving head for an hour and I’m going to tap out now.”

And that was definitely the most insane series of events of the night.

Your ethos here is inspirational. Just like, all in. So you didn’t have to verbalize these finer points of consent you’d talked to your husband about?

In the first room it was like that. “Do you want to do this, is this okay, can they do this,” etc. But in that last room we were just like, we are just doing this. After he finished, I took a second and was like, “Are you done?” And he said, “Are you? It’s up to you, it’s totally fine with me if you want to keep going.” So I did keep going for a bit, and then I was done too.

And then I hadn’t gotten off at that point because I have to do it myself.

HAHAH oh my god. I can’t imagine how horny you must have been at that point.

Yeah, so we went off into a room, and then I got myself off there, and we had sex again, and another couple was doing stuff next to us — and then a girl joined in, and she was going down on the other girl and her boyfriend was having sex with her for behind, and we were like, “And this is how our night is ending.”

And so you were never uncomfortable?

There were two different guys who approached me asking me to fool around with their wives — I wasn’t into it, I didn’t like being approached by the husband, and I don’t think my husband was feeling it with them either. But those things were totally fine and comfortable. More like, “Maybe later, we’re doing stuff by ourselves right now.”

What did you talk about on the drive home?

We’re driving home at like 2:15, and my husband is having that feeling where you finish watching porn and you realize you’re sort of disgusted and you feel a little bad about it. He finally was like, “Are you okay with the fact that I offered you to give head, without asking you beforehand?” And I was like, “No, that was super hot.”

I wanted him to call the shots — I was into that. It’s part of our fantasy.

He thought that you didn’t really want to do it?

Well, to be fair, I generally have a hard time saying no. We’d talked about how if I didn’t answer a question he asked me it would mean no. But he did really read me correctly, even if he was worried he hadn’t.

After that, for the next couple of days, we went at it like teenagers. Just days of having flashbacks every half hour, of like “Holy shit, we did that.” It was wild and awesome. We’re both still dealing with these residual feelings of guilt, like Is this normal, should we have been that comfortable with it, but also who cares, it was great. Eric was like, “It was really awesome to see you as your own sexual person that is independent of me.” And I loved that. We pretend that our sex lives before didn’t exist, or you block that out about our partner, but seeing your significant other in this way was really awesome.

Are you going to go back?

Definitely. There’s one actually right in our neighborhood.

It still doesn’t feel like a demographic I “belong” to — in whatever subculture I’d be placed into, this doesn’t really seem to exist. Or maybe this is just across all subcultures. The club was racially mixed, a diverse range of ages and looks. But the dominant theme does seem to be older married couples.

And I’m also still thinking about aspects of this. I know it’s a little reckless, that you can’t be completely protected sexually. But you do crazy reckless shit when you’re single, and the idea that once you’re married all this stuff just goes away and you’re a wholly responsible person…


I think we were responsible in all the important ways within the context of our relationship, anyway.

Any helpful tips you want to leave people with? Tips for first-time swingers?

Communication is the most important thing before, during and after. You cannot try and have your partner be a mind reader. Also, if you drink, you should, but do not get drunk. I was worried about that, in terms of consent and inebriation, but no one at the club seemed out of it. Just do whatever you can to mentally prepare yourself for all of the possibilities. Any ground rules that you need to set, set. Just know that you yourself can change those ground rules in the moment, too, if you find that you need to — and make sure you’re clear with your partner about that, and vice versa.

Those sound like good rules for life generally.

I guess they are!