A couple, who wish to remain anonymous, agreed to answer some quick questions about their way of understanding swinging.
We love and respect everyone’s point of view and this is theirs that we publish to you
HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER BEEN INVOLVED IN THE SWINGER LIFE STYLE?
About three years.
HOW LONG HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN TOGETHER?
Twenty years.
ARE YOU A HETEROSEXUAL OR HOMOSEXUAL COUPLE OR DOES IT MATTER?
Strictly heterosexual. We will have threesomes but everything is done on a “straight” basis. Ex-for Mfm, all male attention on me, fmf, all female attention on him.
HOW DO YOU NOT GET JEALOUS OR HOW DO YOU HANDLE JEALOUSY FROM YOUR PARTNER?
We just kinda let the jealousy go. We know we’ll always be together, we love each other and desire each other very much so jealousy isn’t really a thing. We enjoy seeing the other enjoy themselves. It’s fun, there’s no jealousy or ill feelings towards anyone but also, everyone must be comfortable with each other. We’ve never put ourselves in a position that would leave the other feeling anything but comfortable.
WHAT IS THE APPEAL OF SWINGING? LIKE I MENTIONED ABOVE, IS IT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOUR PARTNER IS MISSING?
The appeal… seeing the other enjoying themselves, a “view” you wouldn’t normally be provided, having the ability to “look” without feeling guilty, even if it’s nothing more than checking someone out. I mean we all look when we see someone attractive, it’s the freedom to do that with no guilt attached, being able to act on that desire without “cheating” if it comes to that.
WHAT ARE COMMON COMPLICATIONS THAT COME UP?
Our main issue is time. Between work and life, it really doesn’t leave a lot of time for it, which is fine. We don’t do it often and it can be difficult to find a person/couple where everyone clicks. A lot of couples have jealousy issues, especially women and a more so than not, the women can be bitchy or have an “in all that” kind of attitude
HOW DO YOU MEET OTHER COUPLES?
Were on a few sites, aff, sls and tinder to name a few. People are hard to find IMO, if you have any kind of standards… and once you find someone/people, it becomes a do we all jive together thing and that’s more often no than yes.
DO YOU GUYS HAVE RULES IN PLACE?
Our rules-we always play “safe” and we only do things together.
HOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND SOMEONE ‘DIPS THEIR TOES’ INTO THE WATER OF THE SWINGING WORLD AND APPROACH THEIR PARTNER WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
To approach it is difficult… most people aren’t open to the idea… it’s really a relationship by relationship kind of thing. My first tip would be to be in a strong, loving, trusting relationship that has open lines of communication.
HAS SWINGING EVER BEEN A REGRETTABLE THING/THREATENED YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND IF IT WAS, HOW DID YOU GUYS PUT WHAT HAPPENED BEHIND YOU TO CONTINUE DOING IT?
No, it hasn’t. We’ve always respected each other wishes, wants, likes and dislikes and we can literally talk about anything openly without anyone getting angry or upset or hurt.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MEET A NEW COUPLE FOR THE FIRST TIME?
When we meet someone new, we always do a “meet and greet” type thing. Go out and grab drinks or an appetizer, whatever’s clever and sit down and chat for an hour or two, just seeing how well everyone gets along. We do try to get to know each but on a basic level, we don’t dive into our deepest secrets or anything.
WHAT IS THE MOST COMMON MISCONCEPTION OF BEING A SWINGER COUPLE?
I think the most common misconception is that swingers have sex with anyone, anywhere, anytime. And while that may be true for some, it is not for us. We don’t consider ourselves in an “open” relationship. To me that implies anything goes. We swing as a couple. We’ve been doing this for 3yrs, we’ve met up with two other couples, two single guys and a single girl.
IS THIS SOMETHING THAT YOU TAKE PART IN AS A GROUP OR DO YOU GO OFF SEPARATELY AND DO YOUR THING?
I may have answered this above, but we chat online or thru text, however, then we plan a meet and greet. If that goes well, we setup a later date to “play”. If it’s a couple, it’s same room the whole time, there may be switching back and forth, always play safe. If it’s Mfm or fmf, it’s more of a take turns scenario. While sometimes it’s both guys/girls have things going on, it’s really kinda hard to take of two guys/girls at once. It’s nothing like porn portrays at allllll.
ANY ADVICE OR ANYTHING YOU’D LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS UNFAMILIAR WITH SWINGING TO KNOW?
It’s not for everyone, women tend to get jealous even if they think they won’t, making sure everyone is totally comfortable with each other is very important, open communication lines and set boundaries are very important and need to be thoroughly discussed. Agree before you start that if either wants to stop at anytime, it will all stop and no one will harbor ill feelings.
Not sure about you guys, but I definitely learned some new things from this couple. I wanted to take a minute and thank them for replying to my request and taking the time to answer these honestly and give us a peek into their lifestyle.
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