The 10 Biggest Lies About Swinging
The world of swinging has long lived under a fog of stereotypes.
For years, it has been labelled as a playground for “degenerates” and “perverts” (on a good day), and only recently has it started to break free from that stigma.
There are still plenty of misconceptions hanging around.
For people who have been part of the lifestyle for years, these myths may sound obvious.
But understanding how swingers are perceived—rather than swinging itself—is important, especially for those still stuck in outdated assumptions.
So, in an attempt to demystify this world without taking anything for granted, here are the most common beliefs about swingers that are completely false.
1. They are all old and creepy
This stereotype might have been somewhat accurate decades ago, when private clubs were mostly attended by an older crowd, for cultural and practical reasons.
Today the scene looks very different.
The internet has opened the door to younger generations, who find the lifestyle far more accessible and less mysterious.
It’s now common to find young couples at clubs and even events with strict age limits.
A quick look at community listings makes it clear: the image of “old, creepy swingers” doesn’t match reality anymore.
2. All swingers do full swap
Not true.
Every couple sets their own rules.
- Some enjoy full swap, with complete partner exchange.
- Others prefer soft swap, allowing only certain interactions.
- Others don’t want physical contact at all, but still enjoy the shared erotic atmosphere.
For many, erotic charge comes from being in the same room, not necessarily touching each other.
And honestly, it’s not that different from certain teenage experiments many people had back in the day.
3. Only women are bi-curious
Girl-on-girl interactions are common and, at times, almost expected.
But that doesn’t mean men don’t explore their own sexual curiosity.
It doesn’t imply that attending a party means getting hit on by another guy—male bi-curiosity tends to happen discreetly—but the level of openness is higher than people think.
Full bi couples are increasingly common, and if one wants to experiment, the environment is usually supportive, not judgmental.
4. Single women don’t exist in the lifestyle
Absolutely false.
There are plenty of single women in clubs and online communities.
Often called “unicorns,” they are very real—and numerous.
Some play with couples, some with singles, some with multiple partners at once.
They’re simply looking for a space where they can explore sexuality without judgment.
Just like everyone else.
5. Swingers don’t care about STDs
It’s actually the opposite.
Safe sex is a core principle of swinger culture, and hygiene is taken seriously.
- Clubs provide free condoms everywhere.
- Many people request recent STI test results before meeting.
- A lot of swingers get tested regularly for their own safety and their partners’.
Swingers are often more cautious about sexual health than people having casual sex outside the lifestyle.
6. Swinging destroys relationships
It can, yes—if the relationship is already falling apart.
Just like having a child, buying a house, or going on vacation can highlight cracks that were already there.
Swinging is not therapy, and it doesn’t “fix” couples.
It’s a different way of living sexuality that works only for people with compatibility, communication, and trust.
Some couples find it enriching.
Others find it destabilizing.
Just like any major relational shift.
7. Swingers don’t care who they have sex with
Not true at all.
Swinger couples tend to be incredibly selective.
Personality, chemistry, and confidence matter as much as physical attraction.
Many encounters begin with drinks, dinner, and conversation.
That’s why showing up online with nothing but a nude picture, assuming “they just want sex,” is the fastest way to end up ignored.
8. Women are dragged into swinging by their husbands
It happens, but such couples rarely last.
In the lifestyle, women are often the driving force:
- They decide if and when something happens
- They receive most of the attention
- They enjoy a sexually empowered environment
If someone ends up having a bad experience, ironically, it’s usually the man.
Interviews with lifestyle couples consistently show that female consent is central, not optional.
9. Swingers are perverts
Depends on what “pervert” means.
Until not long ago, homosexuality was labelled as perversion too.
People in the lifestyle enjoy fantasies and kink—but in a way that is consensual, mindful, and healthy.
Freud described “perversion” as an uninhibited drive toward pleasure, not a moral failure.
Modern sexologists echo that sentiment: most swinger couples operate in harmony, guided by playfulness, fun, and mutual respect.
10. Swingers have open relationships
Not usually.
Swinging is shared, not secret.
It’s something couples do together, with boundaries they both agree on.
It’s not about deception or parallel relationships.
Swinger couples feel jealousy and betrayal just like anyone else.
Anything that isn’t shared or consented to is considered cheating—exactly as in traditional relationships.
CONCLUSION
The swinger world isn’t populated by reckless people or thrill-seeking predators.
It’s made up of individuals and couples who navigate sexuality in a consensual, respectful, and often highly self-aware manner.
If there’s one consistent thread that ties everything together, it’s this:
communication, consent, rules, and respect.
Everything else is just myth.
