Threesome for the first time: how do you start?
What is a Threesome ?
A threesome, also known as a trio or mรฉnage ร trois (French for a household of three), is when three people have sex together. It’s not the same as group sex, which generally refers to sex acts involving four or more people at the same time. The way people feel about threesomes varies widely based on their experiences, ideas they have about sex, and cultural influences. While the idea is exciting for some, it’s scary or unappealing to others. Understanding the dynamics of a healthy three-way, and the potential risks and benefits, can help you decide whether you might be interested in trying one or if this type of sexual exploration isn’t for you.
Having a threesome for the first time often starts with a fantasy. Have you been dreaming about having sex with two people at the same time? There are a couple of things to consider. Do you have a partner who is interested in having a threesome? Or do you want to join a couple? And how do you go about asking for a threesome? If you want to make your fantasy come true, weโve got a couple of good tips for you to make your first threesome experience a great success.
First time threesome: talk about it with your partner
Be open about your fantasies with your partner. If you want to experience a threesome for the first time and you want to do this with your partner, then tell them. It can be scary if you donโt know how your partner feels about it and what their reaction will be. Be clear about why you want a threesome: is it a one-time bucketlist experience or do you want to make your sex life more exciting? Explain your reasons well and ask your partner how they feel about having a threesome. Talk about the advantages, but also about the concerns. If your partner says no, respect their decision and let it rest for now. I say โfor nowโ because sometimes your lover simply needs some time to get used to the idea.
Where do you find partners for a threesome?
Whether youโre looking for one or two people for your first threesome, itโs always a challenge. If youโre single, itโs relatively easy to find a couple that is looking for someone to have a threesome with. Post a request on SwingersTaboo in activity page or Groups. Another tip is to go to a swingers club. Especially single women are very wanted there. The benefit of meeting someone in person is that you immediately know if youโre attracted to them. If youโre looking for a third person together with your partner, you can also book an escort. The main advantage of this is that it avoids jealousy and romantic feelings involving the third person.
Ideal: everyone is attracted to each other
Itโs important to realise that having a threesome isnโt romantic. It takes a lot of effort, concentration, and stamina. Your mouth wonโt be closed most of the time, there are plenty of holes that need to be filled, and your hands are everywhere all the time. If you want to make your first threesome a success, then make sure everyone is attracted to each other. The best threesomes involve a lot of chemistry between all three people. The most important aspect is that you feel completely comfortable. By the way, not everyone has to have sex with everone. For example, youโre a woman and your partner is a man. Youโd like to have a threesome with your partner and another man. That doesnโt mean that the men also have to have sex with each other. I speak from experience when I say that two men can be intimate without touching each other. Obviously, they can have sex if they want to. Itโs also possible that youโre very curious about what it would be like to touch another woman, so you can invite a woman that both you and your partner have sex with.
The risk of inviting a friend for a threesome
As the title suggests: inviting a friend to join you and your partner in a threesome comes with certain risks. The main problem is jealousy. Especially when one of you receives more attention than the other. Do you want to watch your man get aroused by your best friend and then continue your friendship with her? What if your friend and your partner develop romantic feelings for each other? Of course, inviting a friend isnโt always a negative experience: itโs always good to know exactly who you invite into your home and you already trust your friend. Discuss the rules of the threesome beforehand with your partner. Then discuss them with the friend you invited to join the adventure. Also ask him or her about their wishes or conditions. This way you can prevent arguments and negative feelings that might come up afterwards as much as possible. It would be a shame to let a threesome ruin your friendship.
Agree on the rules
If youโre going to have a threesome for the first time, you might feel very nervous. Discuss the rules with all participants beforehand. The thought that you know exactly what to expect and what not to expect can help calm your nerves. Also talk about what youโre going to do afterwards: are you going to have a drink together, will everyone stay overnight, or are you โ or is anyone else โ going home immediately? The location is also important: do you want to invite the third person into your home, are you going to the house of the other couple, or are you going to a hotel? Talking about your threesome is important in any case. Express your wishes, fantasies, and concerns. This will help you feel relaxed before and during the threesome.
Is the threesome a secret?
An important question to ask is whether or not the threesome is a secret. If you donโt want anyone to know about it, or your partner or the third person wants to keep it a secret, itโs good to talk about this beforehand. Then everyone can agree on the rules, which is especially important when the threesome involves a close friend.
You can always say no
Having a threesome for the first time is a leap of faith. If it has been one of your naughtiest fantasies and itโs about to come true, you will feel all the emotions and hormones rage in your body. But what if you find out it isnโt your cup of tea after all? Thatโs okay, talk about it. Nobody wants you to feel uncomfortable. Even during sex you can mention you donโt want to do something. Are you scared to speak up? Try to remember that the other two people want you to have fun as well. After all, that is what a threesome is all about.
A good way to start a threesome
If youโre going to experience a threesome for the first time, youโre probably very nervous. Go out for dinner first or have a drink together. Create a sensual ambience in your house or hotel room with candles and music. You can dance, talk, or watch an erotic video together. The erotic tension will be there soon enough when someone takes the initiative. You can also perform a striptease in front of the others, or you can massage each other. Make sure all three of you get in the right mood.
What do you need for your first threesome?
There are a couple of things that are good to have on hand during a threesome. These products can help you make the experience even better:
- First things first: lubricant. This is the basis of comfortable sex;
- Massage oil or massage candles: create a sensual and relaxed ambience in the bedroom;
- Lingerie: to make you feel confident and sexy, so you can on top of your flirting game;
- Sex toys: especially a vibrator is a fun tool if there are two women in your threesome;
- And of course: condoms.
A threesome for the first time: experience
At some point, I somewhat unexpectedly ended up in a threesome myself after a night out with my lover and his friend. My lover aroused me (obviously). And the feeling of four hands on my body? That aroused me as well. But is was also confusing. You really have to concentrate if youโre having sex with two men at the same time. And I thought my lover was more attractive than his friend, and since they both only had sex with me, not with each other, it was a little too much to handle after all. I guess you cam say the idea was more exciting than the actual experience. Eventually I kicked the friend out of bed and my lover stayed. I definitely want to have a threesome again, but with a different third person.
Threesome: always have safe sex
Safe sex is always important. Maybe you and your partner donโt use condoms anymore, but if youโre inviting a third person to join, condoms are a must. Then you can keep it safe for everyone involved. Having sex with two partners involves changing the condom whenever you switch from one partner to the other. This can be a hassle, but itโs for the greater good: your own health and the health of your bed partners.
