Not all older women who date younger men are cougars. They don’t want long-term relationships, they’re financially independent and sophisticated and smart and don’t want to get into something long-term with anyone.
A prolific cougar who has dated hundreds of toy boys believes bedding men under 30 is the key to keeping young.
Since she divorced her second husband in 2010 Gaynor Evans has dated more than 200 younger men.
It all began when the 57-year-old had a fling with a 23-year-old.
The author, agony aunt and businesswoman, from Enfield, North London, never dates exclusively and said she has no intention of her love life slowing down – despite now being a grandmother-of-four.
Mum-of-four Gaynor said she doesn’t mind the stigma from other women and claims her family are totally supportive – despite the fact that some of the men she dates are younger than her children.
She said: “I’m an older woman who has stepped outside convention – I’m very unusual.
“I’m one of the most openly prolific cougars out there. I’m not boasting about it and I know it’s not for everyone, but I’m non-repentant.
Gaynor, who meets men using the app ToyboyWarehouse.com, insists despite the 25-year age gap with most of her lovers, things between the sheets are better than ever.
Gaynor said: “I have never had a bad experience in bed with a younger man.
“The chemistry is very electric because as an older woman I’m confident – I’ve never been criticised.
“It’s not just about the sex though. It’s so far from that, it’s about the conversation and the rapport. Feelings do get involved.
“I multi-date and I’m not exclusive with men because it would be unrealistic of me to expect the same from them.
“I know people who are 100% faithful, but I think that a man’s natural inclination is to spread his seed.”
Gaynor said that she encounters critics from time to time but insists she’s happy to live her life in her unique way.
She said: “People are very small minded. It’s usually the women who are most hostile. They’re jealous and envious.
“Every year I question myself, and think ‘am I ready to change’. But I’d rather have this freedom and live my life like I want.
“If I could be in a relationship I would but the freedom I feel today is something I don’t think I would give up lightly.
“The thought of getting elder scares me, no one wants to get old, it’s just a fact of life.
“My life is far more joyful and exciting than it has even been.”
Having a threesome for the first time often starts with a fantasy. Have you been dreaming about having sex with two people at the same time? There are a couple of things to consider. Do you have a partner who is interested in having a threesome? Or do you want to join a couple? And how do you go about asking for a threesome? If you want to make your fantasy come true, we’ve got a couple of good tips for you to make your first threesome experience a great success.
First time threesome: talk about it with your partner
Be open about your fantasies with your partner. If you want to experience a threesome for the first time and you want to do this with your partner, then tell them. It can be scary if you don’t know how your partner feels about it and what their reaction will be. Be clear about why you want a threesome: is it a one-time bucketlist experience or do you want to make your sex life more exciting? Explain your reasons well and ask your partner how they feel about having a threesome. Talk about the advantages, but also about the concerns. If your partner says no, respect their decision and let it rest for now. I say ‘for now’ because sometimes your lover simply needs some time to get used to the idea.
Heineken Threesome Commercial “Share one with your friend”
Where do you find partners for a threesome?
Whether you’re looking for one or two people for your first threesome, it’s always a challenge. If you’re single, it’s relatively easy to find a couple that is looking for someone to have a threesome with. Post a request on SwingersTaboo in activity page or Groups. Another tip is to go to a swingers club. Especially single women are very wanted there. The benefit of meeting someone in person is that you immediately know if you’re attracted to them. If you’re looking for a third person together with your partner, you can also book an escort. The main advantage of this is that it avoids jealousy and romantic feelings involving the third person.
Ideal: everyone is attracted to each other
It’s important to realise that having a threesome isn’t romantic. It takes a lot of effort, concentration, and stamina. Your mouth won’t be closed most of the time, there are plenty of holes that need to be filled, and your hands are everywhere all the time. If you want to make your first threesome a success, then make sure everyone is attracted to each other. The best threesomes involve a lot of chemistry between all three people. The most important aspect is that you feel completely comfortable. By the way, not everyone has to have sex with everone. For example, you’re a woman and your partner is a man. You’d like to have a threesome with your partner and another man. That doesn’t mean that the men also have to have sex with each other. I speak from experience when I say that two men can be intimate without touching each other. Obviously, they can have sex if they want to. It’s also possible that you’re very curious about what it would be like to touch another woman, so you can invite a woman that both you and your partner have sex with.
A Threesome with 2 Males is called “MMF” or “MFM”
The risk of inviting a friend for a threesome
As the title suggests: inviting a friend to join you and your partner in a threesome comes with certain risks. The main problem is jealousy. Especially when one of you receives more attention than the other. Do you want to watch your man get aroused by your best friend and then continue your friendship with her? What if your friend and your partner develop romantic feelings for each other? Of course, inviting a friend isn’t always a negative experience: it’s always good to know exactly who you invite into your home and you already trust your friend. Discuss the rules of the threesome beforehand with your partner. Then discuss them with the friend you invited to join the adventure. Also ask him or her about their wishes or conditions. This way you can prevent arguments and negative feelings that might come up afterwards as much as possible. It would be a shame to let a threesome ruin your friendship.
Agree on the rules
If you’re going to have a threesome for the first time, you might feel very nervous. Discuss the rules with all participants beforehand. The thought that you know exactly what to expect and what not to expect can help calm your nerves. Also talk about what you’re going to do afterwards: are you going to have a drink together, will everyone stay overnight, or are you – or is anyone else – going home immediately? The location is also important: do you want to invite the third person into your home, are you going to the house of the other couple, or are you going to a hotel? Talking about your threesome is important in any case. Express your wishes, fantasies, and concerns. This will help you feel relaxed before and during the threesome.
Is the threesome a secret?
An important question to ask is whether or not the threesome is a secret. If you don’t want anyone to know about it, or your partner or the third person wants to keep it a secret, it’s good to talk about this beforehand. Then everyone can agree on the rules, which is especially important when the threesome involves a close friend.
When a Threesome has 2 Women and 1 Man is called “FFM” or “FMF”
You can always say no
Having a threesome for the first time is a leap of faith. If it has been one of your naughtiest fantasies and it’s about to come true, you will feel all the emotions and hormones rage in your body. But what if you find out it isn’t your cup of tea after all? That’s okay, talk about it. Nobody wants you to feel uncomfortable. Even during sex you can mention you don’t want to do something. Are you scared to speak up? Try to remember that the other two people want you to have fun as well. After all, that is what a threesome is all about.
A good way to start a threesome
If you’re going to experience a threesome for the first time, you’re probably very nervous. Go out for dinner first or have a drink together. Create a sensual ambience in your house or hotel room with candles and music. You can dance, talk, or watch an erotic video together. The erotic tension will be there soon enough when someone takes the initiative. You can also perform a striptease in front of the others, or you can massage each other. Make sure all three of you get in the right mood.
What do you need for your first threesome?
There are a couple of things that are good to have on hand during a threesome. These products can help you make the experience even better:
First things first: lubricant. This is the basis of comfortable sex;
Massage oil or massage candles: create a sensual and relaxed ambience in the bedroom;
Lingerie: to make you feel confident and sexy, so you can on top of your flirting game;
Sex toys: especially a vibrator is a fun tool if there are two women in your threesome;
And of course: condoms.
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A threesome for the first time: experience
At some point, I somewhat unexpectedly ended up in a threesome myself after a night out with my lover and his friend. My lover aroused me (obviously). And the feeling of four hands on my body? That aroused me as well. But is was also confusing. You really have to concentrate if you’re having sex with two men at the same time. And I thought my lover was more attractive than his friend, and since they both only had sex with me, not with each other, it was a little too much to handle after all. I guess you cam say the idea was more exciting than the actual experience. Eventually I kicked the friend out of bed and my lover stayed. I definitely want to have a threesome again, but with a different third person.
Threesome: always have safe sex
Safe sex is always important. Maybe you and your partner don’t use condoms anymore, but if you’re inviting a third person to join, condoms are a must. Then you can keep it safe for everyone involved. Having sex with two partners involves changing the condom whenever you switch from one partner to the other. This can be a hassle, but it’s for the greater good: your own health and the health of your bed partners.
Many women are terrified of showing themselves, of expressing their sensuality and femininity. Yet a woman is simply born to please, even if she tries to hide it.
Desires. Desires are the real guilty, not me. If we repressed them we would all die, slowly day after day. But if expressing, living and realizing them is a fault, I want to be the most guilty of women.
