”Well, everything starts with my wife Irene – my muse and the guardian of our home comfort. With all these years of marriage behind, I’m still into her. And I’ve started admiring her body even more, having by now studied it better than the one of mine. We make a perfect match in bed, both of us are always satisfied. Yet I have never thought it is bad sex that kindles desire for new people.
When my business partner Eric started seducing me, I thought I’d just turn it into another secret date that Irene would never know about – the way I was doing in previous relationships. But something there stopped me. Probably they were the soft eyes of Beth, his wife. I wouldn’t want these eyes to look at me with anger and reproach. And I decided my sex with Eric shall happen only if Beth either approves it or joins us in.
First proposal
It took me some time to think it over. My desire to Eric was still there without ebbing, so one day I took my chance. I said I wanted to have sex with him and his wife. Eric smiled back and replied: “But first this shall be you and Beth. I want you to be my gift to her. And I want you to present me with Irene”. These words made me feel choky. The fantasy of coming as a present to my friend’s wife was the most effective aphrodisiac for me. I was looking at Eric with appreciation, though nothing has happened yet. Because his idea was much better than the one I had.
I knew that arranging a threesome or a quad was not an easy task at all. Where two can find common ground, a third one may come with some nuances. While the proposed decision was brilliant. We start with sex in two; and if we make a match, we can play further on.
This is what actually happened. Beth was shy until her first coming. But this impaired neither sex nor the orgasm. As to Eric and Irene, I don’t know how things happened between them. I remember myself talking her into this first try; her initial respond was indignation and she would not talk to me for a couple of hours. But then she changed it into curious looking at Eric during our joint dinners. Eric and I, we are partners in running a restaurant and thus we sometimes dine together, the two families.
Second offer
I don’t know when she changed her mind; I guess this happened when I was away. But one day she told me about her date with Eric. She said she enjoyed it. I was glad to hear this. It was a different kind of excitement, not the same I felt the moment I was offering my best friend to her. And it occurred to me that what aroused me most was the process of proposing something new, daring and unusual. And so I took the next step: suggested we should have sex in four. Irene agreed at the drop of the hat. This time I did not have to persuade her into.
The next day I made the same proposal to Beth and Eric.
Arrangement details
I shall mention here the issue that may seem boring, but for me this was an essential point. All of us had our tests before the Night. This made us wait a little bit for the event so longed for, but on the other hand it gave us some extra time to think over the details. The dating was arranged in our house. We don’t have children and thus there’s no need to keep to bedroom sex only.
In order to avoid eventual awkwardness of the night’ starting point we prepared some erotic games. It was rather easy now that Irene is an expert in event management. Of course she does not have orgies listed in her professional track record, but she knows the ropes in managing groups of non-structured people. We didn’t play the spin bottle or strip poker or anything of the kind. Right from the start we followed the dark side of our desires. Each of the four was fulfilling desires of other participants in plain sight. The desires had been listed beforehand, we broke them down into three categories: pleasing, exciting, igniting.
First experience continues
I’m not here to describe the process proper, I would only say we enjoyed it. We proceed dating in four, and we plan taking joint trip to a swingers’ resort. Sometimes a two of our four meet alone. No one keeps record of these dates. When in secret, things become even more spicy.
We have planned a joint holiday to meet new couples looking to swing. We are interested in learning other swingers. But since we are people of name in our hometown, extra attention is not something we want.
Aren’t soft swing couples
We’ve been in contact with other swingers on forums and in apps for swingers, and they told us we are nowhere near to soft swing couples that we used to refer ourselves to. We thought that soft swing implies occasional dates with one and the same couple. While real swinging stands for multiple couples, meetings always in four and leaving no space for sex in two. But it turned out that soft swing stands for two couples having sex in one room without partners swapping. Seems strange ‘cos I think this is just usual public sex. I mean, if a couple makes love in park you cannot call it soft swing. But anyway, since we practice partners swapping and in general arrange ourselves in intricate combinations that feature four people we are cool, hard swingers. Seems funny. But now I know for sure that soft swing couples are not our match J “.
John.
This story prompts us to experiments and introduces new ideas to the dreams that we already have. This is why we love reading about fulfillment of somebody else’s fantasies.
The world of swingers is not for everyone. It’s a bit like going for a run after a lifetime of sitting. At first you don’t like it, you reject it as an idea, then you get stronger and the impact can be traumatic… but in the end, as soon as you start, you understand how much time of your life you’ve wasted waiting
Good job, honey,” says the naked firefighter to his wife.
Their eyes are lovingly locked and I’m feeling a little left out. After all, I’m the one performing oral sex on him. She’s busy servicing my husband beside us.
If you would have told me a year ago that I would one day watch my husband get a blowjob from a stranger and not feel jealous, I would have laughed in your face. I’ve always been a jealous partner. If my husband or any ex-boyfriend so much as looked in the direction of an attractive woman, I’d assume he wanted to have sex with her. I’m infamous for love quarrels that almost always began with a jealous accusation.
Nothing seemed as dangerous to my firm grip on control than swinging, which is why when I was invited as a journalist to experience two all-inclusive clothing-optional resorts in Cancun—Desire Pearl and Desire Riviera Maya—I said yes because it’s a free vacation, but in my head I said no to the simultaneously exciting yet worrying images that avalanched my mind of orgies and gangbangs and my husband pleasuring other women.
Jealousy wasn’t the only thing I feared. As a recovered sex and porn addictwho has written profusely on the subject, I’ve made one too many destructive decisions in my sexual past. Though my addiction had been curbed since meeting my husband, thanks to a combination of efforts buoyed by his support, would a salacious vacation reopen the wound?
“They can’t force us to swing,” I told my husband (and myself) while we talked about our separate worries. As parents of a toddler, we were eager to drop her at my parents’ house and be childless anywhere for four nights. Why not a swingers resort?
He agreed, and then added, “They can’t force us to get naked either.”
Desire isn’t branded as a “swingers” resort. I later learn that their preferred description, “couples-only, clothing-optional,” is more inclusive of “vanilla couples” like us who could enjoy the fun without having to swap spit or any other body fluids with a stranger.
Weeks later, we arrived in Cancun in the rain. A funny taxi driver drove us to the secluded Desire Pearl, where smiling staff members greeted us in the lobby with champagne and waivers. House rules included respecting their policy that “No Means No,” agreeing not to take photographs of other patrons, and only having public sex in designated areas like the hot tub and playroom.
Making our way to our room, staff members stopped whatever they were doing—sweeping wet leaves, carrying luggage, patrolling the grounds—to greet us, looking us straight in the eye as they held a hand to their hearts.
“We teach them how to face a naked person, to talk to them to the eyes,” Alberto Martinez, the general manager of Desire Pearl, told me later when I asked how employees handle the nudity and public sex. I found it hard to believe they could get much work done with all the eye candy.
I should mention here that when the rain temporarily subsided and my husband and I ran for the hot tub, we found the “eye candy” to be just as diverse as the types of porn categories I used to dig through—very—at least when it came to body types. Among guests who ranged from their 30s to their 70s—mostly white Americans—there were thin bodies, plump ones, short, tall, small natural breasts, large silicones, small penises, large penises, hairy, and freshly waxed. And just about everybody appeared relaxed, confident, and happy in bare skin.
Feeling out of place, I quickly tore off my bikini top and my husband kicked off his trunks like he’d never considered doing otherwise. Though I usually felt insecure about my thighs and midsection, seeing all those body types squashed my insecurity fast—not because I thought I looked better, but because nobody seemed to be comparing. My husband and I ordered drinks and gave each other a look that said: Everybody’s naked!
Everyone was open and friendly in the hot tub, but it wasn’t a huge orgy as expected. Though I’m typically anxious in social situations, I felt at ease here. It’s refreshing what nudity adds to socializing. Like children who had not yet learned shame, people checked each other’s bodies out, tirelessly offered compliments, told jokes, and talked openly about their fantasies. Some of the conversations were ordinary too, ranging from jobs to neighborhoods—mostly white-collar and affluent, as the resort is not a budget one—and we were surprised by how many people talked about their children. Of the countless couples I talked to over the four days, we met only two without kids.
“Do your kids know where you are?” I asked one couple from Ohio.
“Absolutely,” the husband answered. “In fact, our 16-year-old daughter picked out her mom’s lingerie and sexy costumes for the themed nights.”
When they noticed my look of surprise, which quickly turned into admiration, he explained further. “Everybody back home knows where we are. We tell our colleagues, friends, family, everyone.” Then he offered a simple, yet revolutionary idea: “The way we see it, if they have a problem with our lifestyle, we don’t want them in our lives anyway. Makes things easier.”
Another woman raved about buying her teenage daughter a vibrator for Christmas and the surge of pride she got when she saw the vibrator unwrapped and under her daughter’s bed.
I was taken by this kind of openness. It was the kind I wanted to have with my own daughter when she grew up, and the direct opposite of what I had with my own mother, who had only once addressed sex with me as a girl, pointing to my crotch and saying, “Don’t let anyone ever touch you down there.” I learned not just from my parents and our Catholic background, but from TV, books, and songs—from fairytales to rom-coms to pop songs galore—that nobody respects sluts, men are the ones who cheat, women are the ones who cry, relationships are fragile things. And even though I considered myself to be much healthier now, I still had hang-ups. Jealousy was one of them, but so was judgment of the kind of people I would meet at the resort.
Like many, before I arrived at Desire, my knee-jerk reaction was that swingers were strange, maybe even pitiful. It was something middle-aged people did when they were bored with their spouses. It was probably the husband’s idea. But after visiting the resort and actually talking to the people there, I realized how wrong I’d been. Nobody seemed bored or out of love. People who’d been married for decades kissed and fondled each other in public like teenagers. And women weren’t just pulled along for the ride. Many of them had initiated the decision to come to the resort, or if they hadn’t, they had still been the deciding party.
“The ones who make the decision to come here are women,” Martinez explained later to me. “The one who accepts is the woman.”
If you told me a year ago that I’d watch my husband get a blowjob from a stranger and not feel jealous, I’d have laughed in your face.
Women did seem to be more aggressive than men at the resort. Most compliments I received were from women—You’ve had a baby?! No way! And most passes came from women—I can’t stop thinking of kissing you. May I?And while some husbands were often quick to start a friendly chat with women and men alike whether they seemed sexually interested or not, women often held back from chatting unless they wanted something more, scanning the tub or dance floor as if stalking prey.
“We’ve been here six times,” a Midwestern man told us after we’d left the hot tub for the lobby bar, where people mingled in lingerie or sexy party outfits. His wife, sitting beside him and studying the room, had swirly designs around her nipples. She didn’t seem interested in talking to us. “Six times,” he repeated, “and we’ve never been off the resort grounds.”
I found this surprising, especially with Chichen Itza just a short drive away. Did they really spend their whole vacation having sex?
When the man told us that they weren’t swingers, I found it even harder to understand why they would come here. “We just think of it as live porn,” he said.
Like us, they were a vanilla couple. We’d meet several of them over the next few days. One man told me that he wasn’t against the idea of swinging, but nobody had met his wife’s standards yet after nine trips. A petite blonde woman, his pretty wife didn’t look at me or my husband while he confessed this. This ignited a tinge of insecurity in me as I wondered: Do we not meet her standards?
“Isn’t it dissatisfying?” I asked him.
He laughed. “Sometimes the excitement of wondering whether or not it will happen is enough to last the whole year. Fantasy can often be more satisfying than the real thing.”
Of course, there weren’t only vanilla couples. After dinner that first night, having not seen anybody have sex publicly, we decided to head back to the hot tub now that it was dark.
That’s when we witnessed our first public orgy. Though I read it in the waiver, my initial reaction was that it was against the rules.
“Is this allowed?” I asked my husband quietly.
But he didn’t answer. He was busy watching the two couples swapping and moaning, a tangle of limbs under the moonlight.
When one of the men enjoying a blowjob switched with his partner so she was now on the receiving end, he waved us over.
I looked at my husband who was looking at me, waiting for me to decide—swim away or join in. That’s when I experienced the key feature of the Desire concept: I decided for the both of us. When the man waved us over, we stopped being a vanilla couple and became swingers. At least I did. With jealousy still at the forefront of my mind and my husband probably sensing that, I fooled around with two other women while the men watched and only touched their respective partners. At one point, I looked over at the nearby pool bar and met the bartender’s eyes. They really don’t break eye contact, do they? I thought.
After we were satisfied, I untangled from the two other women and we all swam over to the bar like old friends, each of us giggling and nuzzling our partners—turning back from exhibitionist goddesses to doting wives.
“I’m Ginger,” said one of the women, extending her pruney hand to me for a handshake. “Nice to meet you.”
Over the next few days, as if that first night with the group had unlocked something in us, my husband and I played a game of how far will we go? We booked a sensual couples’ massage at the spa where my male masseuse and my husband’s female masseuse brought us close to orgasm with their hands before pushing our massage tables together and letting us have at it. We met up with the same couples from the hot tub for more water play, which eventually moved to somebody’s bedroom and I watched my husband grope other women’s breasts while the other men groped mine. Then I watched him get various blowjobs while random faces dove between my legs. All along, while guards came down and boundaries got pushed, my husband and I checked in with each other and the other couples did the same.
“Hands and mouths are OK, right?” some husband asked.
“If you put your penis in another vagina, I’ll murder you,” some wife responded.
“Are you feeling OK?” my husband and I took turns asking each other. “Is this OK?” The answer was always yes.
What I found most surprising about seeing my husband pleasuring someone else was that I didn’t feel rage, resentment, or fear. This was probably because I was doing it too. Even more, I wondered if I’d been wrong about how it would feel to swing—natural, fun, and freeing—then what else could I be wrong about? Maybe my recovery from sex addiction was more about indulging my sexuality than restricting it. Maybe swinging and non-monogamy weren’t things to hide from the people I know back home, including my child, but something to offer as an honorable possibility, an alternative route to the same old stories we get fed about marriage through our families, our churches, our media, and beyond. And maybe jealousy, control, and possessiveness weren’t the best ways to keep my marriage intact. Maybe those were surefire routes to breaking us apart.
But it’s not like we abandoned our boundaries completely. Some of the best sex I had on the trip was with my husband alone in our pristine, childless hotel room, as we went over our daily adventures.
On our third day, as we moved from Desire Pearl to Desire Riviera Maya, which had an even more rambunctious crowd, we met a firefighter and his wife at the bar. We hit it off right away, talking about our respective neighborhoods back home, our jobs, and our children. They had been in the lifestyle for years now and when we told them what we’d been up to the last few days, they explained we’d been doing what is called “soft swap,” which seemed to be a level higher than “vanilla.” Unlike “full swap,” soft swap couples do everything but penetrative sex, and my husband and I both vocalized that we were cool with that; we had no intention of going further.
“Everybody has their style,” the firefighter’s wife said. She had kind eyes and a soft voice. She smiled often and asked thoughtful questions, which I liked. She seemed to care about us, which I later learned was important to her. She didn’t like having sex with people she didn’t want to be emotionally intimate with. Connection turned her on.
Hours later, I’m going down on her husband and she’s going down on mine. Despite what she said about connection, the firefighter’s wife seems far more interested in her husband than mine, and I’m OK with this, though I do wonder if I’m doing a bad job. After we switch positions a few times, the firefighter says, “You guys want to try full swap?”
Since I haven’t had an orgasm, I consider it, but I look to my husband first. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at me. Again, the decision’s mine, but I’m starting to feel uncomfortable with the responsibility.
To buy time, I ask a question that I rarely ever asked at the height of my sexual addiction. “Do you guys have condoms?”
They both shake their heads. I scan the room quickly. Surely, at a place like this, condoms would be as abundant as miniature bottles of shampoo. There doesn’t appear to be any around. I check the fridge, an odd last resort.
My breathing slows and I feel the mood shift. The husband and wife settle into our bed to cuddle and chat and I nuzzle into my husband beside them, but I have no interest in chatting with them anymore.
The wife tells us a story about another swinger couple they know back home. “It’s funny the things you end up getting jealous over after you start swinging,” she says. “Our friend is very short and has a tall husband. She watched him have sex with multiple people and had no problem for years. But then one time she saw a woman at a swingers club get on her tippy-toes to kiss him and that’s what drove her mad.” She laughs. “Being shorter than him was their thing, special to them alone. This woman was taking her place in the most surprising and unusual way.”
Watching her kind eyes bounce from her husband back to us, seeing her soft curls on my pillow, feeling her light caress on my arm as she talks—I suddenly want them to leave immediately. It’s not that I regret what we’ve just done or that I don’t like them, but I simply like my husband more and I’d rather chat with him. He and I almost crossed our final boundary and I feel the need to connect and talk frankly about how we both feel.
Though I think unsafe sex is dangerous, I’m suddenly glad there are no condoms in the room. I politely tell the couple that we have dinner reservations and they get the hint and gather their things. What could have turned into a long evening of shared hopes and fears, more insight into our pasts, and warm stories about our children back home, has instead turned into something quick and semi-anonymous and somehow that feels safer and sexier, too. And though I’ve had my fair share of loose and casual sexual experiences in the past, I don’t feel bad about this one. I don’t feel bad about anything I’ve done on this trip or anything I haven’t done. And there’s another, even more arousing reason I’m glad we didn’t do the full swap: We’ve left something to explore for next time, should there be a next time. Based on how much we’ve been talking about it since we got home, I think there just might be.
A couple, who wish to remain anonymous, agreed to answer some quick questions about their way of understanding swinging.
We love and respect everyone’s point of view and this is theirs that we publish to you
HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER BEEN INVOLVED IN THE SWINGER LIFE STYLE?
About three years.
HOW LONG HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN TOGETHER?
Twenty years.
ARE YOU A HETEROSEXUAL OR HOMOSEXUAL COUPLE OR DOES IT MATTER?
Strictly heterosexual. We will have threesomes but everything is done on a “straight” basis. Ex-for Mfm, all male attention on me, fmf, all female attention on him.
HOW DO YOU NOT GET JEALOUS OR HOW DO YOU HANDLE JEALOUSY FROM YOUR PARTNER?
We just kinda let the jealousy go. We know we’ll always be together, we love each other and desire each other very much so jealousy isn’t really a thing. We enjoy seeing the other enjoy themselves. It’s fun, there’s no jealousy or ill feelings towards anyone but also, everyone must be comfortable with each other. We’ve never put ourselves in a position that would leave the other feeling anything but comfortable.
WHAT IS THE APPEAL OF SWINGING? LIKE I MENTIONED ABOVE, IS IT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOUR PARTNER IS MISSING?
The appeal… seeing the other enjoying themselves, a “view” you wouldn’t normally be provided, having the ability to “look” without feeling guilty, even if it’s nothing more than checking someone out. I mean we all look when we see someone attractive, it’s the freedom to do that with no guilt attached, being able to act on that desire without “cheating” if it comes to that.
WHAT ARE COMMON COMPLICATIONS THAT COME UP?
Our main issue is time. Between work and life, it really doesn’t leave a lot of time for it, which is fine. We don’t do it often and it can be difficult to find a person/couple where everyone clicks. A lot of couples have jealousy issues, especially women and a more so than not, the women can be bitchy or have an “in all that” kind of attitude
HOW DO YOU MEET OTHER COUPLES?
Were on a few sites, aff, sls and tinder to name a few. People are hard to find IMO, if you have any kind of standards… and once you find someone/people, it becomes a do we all jive together thing and that’s more often no than yes.
DO YOU GUYS HAVE RULES IN PLACE?
Our rules-we always play “safe” and we only do things together.
HOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND SOMEONE ‘DIPS THEIR TOES’ INTO THE WATER OF THE SWINGING WORLD AND APPROACH THEIR PARTNER WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
To approach it is difficult… most people aren’t open to the idea… it’s really a relationship by relationship kind of thing. My first tip would be to be in a strong, loving, trusting relationship that has open lines of communication.
HAS SWINGING EVER BEEN A REGRETTABLE THING/THREATENED YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND IF IT WAS, HOW DID YOU GUYS PUT WHAT HAPPENED BEHIND YOU TO CONTINUE DOING IT?
No, it hasn’t. We’ve always respected each other wishes, wants, likes and dislikes and we can literally talk about anything openly without anyone getting angry or upset or hurt.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MEET A NEW COUPLE FOR THE FIRST TIME?
When we meet someone new, we always do a “meet and greet” type thing. Go out and grab drinks or an appetizer, whatever’s clever and sit down and chat for an hour or two, just seeing how well everyone gets along. We do try to get to know each but on a basic level, we don’t dive into our deepest secrets or anything.
WHAT IS THE MOST COMMON MISCONCEPTION OF BEING A SWINGER COUPLE?
I think the most common misconception is that swingers have sex with anyone, anywhere, anytime. And while that may be true for some, it is not for us. We don’t consider ourselves in an “open” relationship. To me that implies anything goes. We swing as a couple. We’ve been doing this for 3yrs, we’ve met up with two other couples, two single guys and a single girl.
IS THIS SOMETHING THAT YOU TAKE PART IN AS A GROUP OR DO YOU GO OFF SEPARATELY AND DO YOUR THING?
I may have answered this above, but we chat online or thru text, however, then we plan a meet and greet. If that goes well, we setup a later date to “play”. If it’s a couple, it’s same room the whole time, there may be switching back and forth, always play safe. If it’s Mfm or fmf, it’s more of a take turns scenario. While sometimes it’s both guys/girls have things going on, it’s really kinda hard to take of two guys/girls at once. It’s nothing like porn portrays at allllll.
ANY ADVICE OR ANYTHING YOU’D LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS UNFAMILIAR WITH SWINGING TO KNOW?
It’s not for everyone, women tend to get jealous even if they think they won’t, making sure everyone is totally comfortable with each other is very important, open communication lines and set boundaries are very important and need to be thoroughly discussed. Agree before you start that if either wants to stop at anytime, it will all stop and no one will harbor ill feelings.
Not sure about you guys, but I definitely learned some new things from this couple. I wanted to take a minute and thank them for replying to my request and taking the time to answer these honestly and give us a peek into their lifestyle.
Very often we are asked or find questions in the forums about what are the signs that could make you understand if a couple is a swinger or willing to explore new horizons sexually.
Contrary to popular thoughts that there are no signs or symbols that swingers use to attract different swingers, in many cases, it appears that a few people are continually searching for a systematic approach to check out whether a friend, neighbor or colleague is a swinger.
So, yes, there are swinger symbols that the swinging community uses to attract other potential partners. This is also supported by the fact that because a swinger will have sex with someone else outside their primary relationship doesn’t necessary mean that they’ll have intercourse with whoever just goes along, when in fact swingers are just as picky as any other individual in the society about who they’re attracted to and who they’ll have sex with. Much the same as the joke: “Yes, I’m polyamorous. No, I won’t engage in sexual relations with you.” the same can be said for swingers: “Yes, I’m a swinger. No, I won’t engage in sexual relations with you.”
Popular urban legends that are hinted as typical swinger symbols
Pampas grass in the front yard garden
Pink or purple decorations in the front yard
Pineapple placed upside down in a shopping cart
A pineapple door knocker
A fire pit in the yard
A hot tub in the yard
A woman wears an anklet on her right leg
A woman wears an anklet on her left leg
A man or woman wearing a red ball cap
White landscaping rocks in someone’s front yard
Wearing a thumb ring
Wearing a toe ring
Switching the wedding ring to the right hand
Yin-Yang tattoo
1) Pineapples: A Swinging Good Time?
They do say nobody realizes what goes on behind closed doors – but, is your neighbor sending out secret clues that they’re into swinging? The pineapple throughout the ages has represented charming hospitality and enthusiastic welcoming. A pineapple when kept on a patio or mailbox by swingers, it implies that a swinger party is underway. When a pineapple is turned upside down, it represents an individual is looking for a swinger party. However, initially, it was turned upside down in the people’s shopping basket. The popularity of the upside down pineapple has made it acceptable for clothes and different other items as a secret message in the swinging community. Swingers utilize this symbol to recognize each other in broad daylight. Evidently, a pineapple left on the front entryway amidst the night is (in the modern time) really a bold request or a cheerful welcome for the swingers to join in!
2) Pampas grass
Yes, Pampas Grass has earned itself a long relationship with swingers, according to an article published in the Daily Telegraph. Scientifically called Cortaderia selloana, the grass is the secret code which indicates its owner appreciates the alternative lifestyle of swinging. Unfortunately, in the case of Pampas grass, there is such mind-bending publicity, which resulted in plummeting sales in recent years. Let the charm and temptation of swinging intrigue to you, proceed and knock on the Pampas Grass owner’s door next time – just make sure to be accompanied by your partner.
3) The Polyamourous Symbol
There is a lot of confusion here because wearing a polyamorous symbol certainly does not mean that the person is part of the world of swinging. But it is certainly a sign that denotes a certain open-mindedness.
4) A black ring on the right hand
It seems that swingers even have their own secret accessories- which are helpful when trying to recognize a fellow swinger or people who enjoy this alternative lifestyle. As per Cooper Beckett, host of the Life on the Swingset Podcast, numerous couples are out there who wear a black ring to secretly imply that they are into swinging. He even wrote in an article publishes in the Daily Telegraph: “Wear your black ring on your right hand in the event that you are out and open to meet other swingers.” In that article, he even helpfully guided on the most proficient way to break the ice in case you identify a fellow swinger in broad daylight. “On the off chance that somebody wearing a dark ring on their right-hand approaches you, start conversing with them, ‘I see you’re wearing a black ring on your right hand. Possibly we are the members of the same club’.”
5) Garden gear and home decorations
Next time you run out of sugar and need to knock your next door neighbor, ensure you carefully observe his/her choice of garden gear and home decorations. Pineapples as well, evidently, when placed in the form of door knockers secretly suggest that your neighbor is a swinger. Oh, and garden gnomes may appear tasteless but ironically they’re kitsch and honest. Because these are the secret codes that signal Mr. and Mrs. might request that you put your car keys in a glass bowl.
6) Hot Tubs
Having a hot tub in the garden is likewise acclaimed for being a typical swinger mentality. In any case, as indicated in an article in The Sun and later in the New York Post by Ross Phillipson, Sales chief at Hot Tubs Superstore in Blackpool, this has currently transformed into a legend. He clarified: “The greatest confusion is that hot tubs are the preserve of swingers, liberal Premiership footballers or flashy types who live in Essex. Truth be told, they are purchased by anybody and everybody.” Another sign is that your neighbor will never open their garage entryway until they’re in the car with the doors shut
7) Wristbands
In the not so distant past, these were extremely popular, with individuals gladly brandishing wristbands to secretly demonstrate their swinging aims. Well, “Charity begins at home” – and hence, swingers have likewise reportedly got their own branded wristbands. These wristbands have an extraordinary “sign” which, along with to the black rings, were made to enable swingers to identify each other potentially. It is also unpretentious and respects the privacy of the individual who wears it. What you have to pay special attention to, are the universal male and female signs organized horizontally with their circles crossing, with three plus signs on the two sides.
8) Anklet The hidden message
Albeit numerous women nowadays may think about the anklet is only a minor tinkle, it really and in generally symbolizes that a woman is married or committed to her partner/husband/lover yet available to other men for sexual adventures with the partner’s/husband’s consent and encouragement. They are usually referred as a “hotwife”. At the point when a married lady wears an anklet, it implies that she is open to relationships and sexual adventures with men other than her partner/husband. In the event that the anklet contains heart images, it implies the wife is committed to her significant other yet free to date other men and have sexual relationships with mutual benefits. If the anklet contains the letter Q and the spade symbol, sometimes accompanied with a tattoo of a playing card and the letter Q inside, it usually means that the wife has a sexual preference for black men.
A threesome, also known as a trio or ménage à trois (French for a household of three), is when three people have sex together. It’s not the same as group sex, which generally refers to sex acts involving four or more people at the same time. The way people feel about threesomes varies widely based on their experiences, ideas they have about sex, and cultural influences. While the idea is exciting for some, it’s scary or unappealing to others. Understanding the dynamics of a healthy three-way, and the potential risks and benefits, can help you decide whether you might be interested in trying one or if this type of sexual exploration isn’t for you.
Having a threesome for the first time often starts with a fantasy. Have you been dreaming about having sex with two people at the same time? There are a couple of things to consider. Do you have a partner who is interested in having a threesome? Or do you want to join a couple? And how do you go about asking for a threesome? If you want to make your fantasy come true, we’ve got a couple of good tips for you to make your first threesome experience a great success.
First time threesome: talk about it with your partner
Be open about your fantasies with your partner. If you want to experience a threesome for the first time and you want to do this with your partner, then tell them. It can be scary if you don’t know how your partner feels about it and what their reaction will be. Be clear about why you want a threesome: is it a one-time bucketlist experience or do you want to make your sex life more exciting? Explain your reasons well and ask your partner how they feel about having a threesome. Talk about the advantages, but also about the concerns. If your partner says no, respect their decision and let it rest for now. I say ‘for now’ because sometimes your lover simply needs some time to get used to the idea.
Heineken Threesome Commercial “Share one with your friend”
Where do you find partners for a threesome?
Whether you’re looking for one or two people for your first threesome, it’s always a challenge. If you’re single, it’s relatively easy to find a couple that is looking for someone to have a threesome with. Post a request on SwingersTaboo in activity page or Groups. Another tip is to go to a swingers club. Especially single women are very wanted there. The benefit of meeting someone in person is that you immediately know if you’re attracted to them. If you’re looking for a third person together with your partner, you can also book an escort. The main advantage of this is that it avoids jealousy and romantic feelings involving the third person.
Ideal: everyone is attracted to each other
It’s important to realise that having a threesome isn’t romantic. It takes a lot of effort, concentration, and stamina. Your mouth won’t be closed most of the time, there are plenty of holes that need to be filled, and your hands are everywhere all the time. If you want to make your first threesome a success, then make sure everyone is attracted to each other. The best threesomes involve a lot of chemistry between all three people. The most important aspect is that you feel completely comfortable. By the way, not everyone has to have sex with everone. For example, you’re a woman and your partner is a man. You’d like to have a threesome with your partner and another man. That doesn’t mean that the men also have to have sex with each other. I speak from experience when I say that two men can be intimate without touching each other. Obviously, they can have sex if they want to. It’s also possible that you’re very curious about what it would be like to touch another woman, so you can invite a woman that both you and your partner have sex with.
A Threesome with 2 Males is called “MMF” or “MFM”
The risk of inviting a friend for a threesome
As the title suggests: inviting a friend to join you and your partner in a threesome comes with certain risks. The main problem is jealousy. Especially when one of you receives more attention than the other. Do you want to watch your man get aroused by your best friend and then continue your friendship with her? What if your friend and your partner develop romantic feelings for each other? Of course, inviting a friend isn’t always a negative experience: it’s always good to know exactly who you invite into your home and you already trust your friend. Discuss the rules of the threesome beforehand with your partner. Then discuss them with the friend you invited to join the adventure. Also ask him or her about their wishes or conditions. This way you can prevent arguments and negative feelings that might come up afterwards as much as possible. It would be a shame to let a threesome ruin your friendship.
Agree on the rules
If you’re going to have a threesome for the first time, you might feel very nervous. Discuss the rules with all participants beforehand. The thought that you know exactly what to expect and what not to expect can help calm your nerves. Also talk about what you’re going to do afterwards: are you going to have a drink together, will everyone stay overnight, or are you – or is anyone else – going home immediately? The location is also important: do you want to invite the third person into your home, are you going to the house of the other couple, or are you going to a hotel? Talking about your threesome is important in any case. Express your wishes, fantasies, and concerns. This will help you feel relaxed before and during the threesome.
Is the threesome a secret?
An important question to ask is whether or not the threesome is a secret. If you don’t want anyone to know about it, or your partner or the third person wants to keep it a secret, it’s good to talk about this beforehand. Then everyone can agree on the rules, which is especially important when the threesome involves a close friend.
When a Threesome has 2 Women and 1 Man is called “FFM” or “FMF”
You can always say no
Having a threesome for the first time is a leap of faith. If it has been one of your naughtiest fantasies and it’s about to come true, you will feel all the emotions and hormones rage in your body. But what if you find out it isn’t your cup of tea after all? That’s okay, talk about it. Nobody wants you to feel uncomfortable. Even during sex you can mention you don’t want to do something. Are you scared to speak up? Try to remember that the other two people want you to have fun as well. After all, that is what a threesome is all about.
A good way to start a threesome
If you’re going to experience a threesome for the first time, you’re probably very nervous. Go out for dinner first or have a drink together. Create a sensual ambience in your house or hotel room with candles and music. You can dance, talk, or watch an erotic video together. The erotic tension will be there soon enough when someone takes the initiative. You can also perform a striptease in front of the others, or you can massage each other. Make sure all three of you get in the right mood.
What do you need for your first threesome?
There are a couple of things that are good to have on hand during a threesome. These products can help you make the experience even better:
First things first: lubricant. This is the basis of comfortable sex;
Massage oil or massage candles: create a sensual and relaxed ambience in the bedroom;
Lingerie: to make you feel confident and sexy, so you can on top of your flirting game;
Sex toys: especially a vibrator is a fun tool if there are two women in your threesome;
And of course: condoms.
Join Now !!! it’s FREE !!!
A threesome for the first time: experience
At some point, I somewhat unexpectedly ended up in a threesome myself after a night out with my lover and his friend. My lover aroused me (obviously). And the feeling of four hands on my body? That aroused me as well. But is was also confusing. You really have to concentrate if you’re having sex with two men at the same time. And I thought my lover was more attractive than his friend, and since they both only had sex with me, not with each other, it was a little too much to handle after all. I guess you cam say the idea was more exciting than the actual experience. Eventually I kicked the friend out of bed and my lover stayed. I definitely want to have a threesome again, but with a different third person.
Threesome: always have safe sex
Safe sex is always important. Maybe you and your partner don’t use condoms anymore, but if you’re inviting a third person to join, condoms are a must. Then you can keep it safe for everyone involved. Having sex with two partners involves changing the condom whenever you switch from one partner to the other. This can be a hassle, but it’s for the greater good: your own health and the health of your bed partners.
